Today is Tuesday

Yes, it is Tuesday. My day. A day to rest, get housework done, go walking. If there is money in my pocket, it is a day to go to a movie. I have to walk there, but that is a good thing. It is a day not to think of little boys and their needs and wants. But I do. I think of them and wonder how they are doing. They are not my little boys. They are my grandsons. But I think their little hearts are intricately entwined with mine. Since the day of their birth...since I held them and fed them and bathed them and cuddled them. They get entwined so quickly, like little voracious vines...twisting, twining, over and around and through. Then it hurts a little when they are elsewhere. Even if I know they are loved "there." They are not "here." And there is something missing in me. It is "them." It is noise, sticky fingers, skinned knees, hearing the "abc's" sung at high volume. It is the calls of their little voices..."MIMI!" "What? what? what?" And the answer...so varied. "Can we go outside? Where are my socks? Can I have an apple? Can we play the Wii? Come and look at this spider! There's a cricket in the house! Did you hear that thunder? I spilled my cereal. I'm sorry. I love you." Little voices. Innocent lives. They are so sweet and unassuming. They just want to be secure, and loved, and hugged...even when they don't "deserve" it. They are my heart. They are my sunshine and oxygen. I want to be their soft place to fall, without undermining any sort of discipline that needs to be metered out. Just enough softness...just enough firmness...just enough cookies and milk and never ever a cap on hugs...never. The twinkle in their eyes is my reward, their hugs are my joy. Life is good. I am thankful to be here for all of this wonder.